This blog is a place where you can ask questions and recieve answers. I will post my own experiences with different strains and general information about the cannabis industry.

Do you love your weed? We do too! We love to sit back and tune in to the best music for both smoking and eating our 420. We want to make sure you have the best experience possible. That’s why we’ve been busy testing out some new products to help you have the most epic time possible.

Ladies and gentlemen lumberjacks, silly boys (ouch!), it is my pleasure tonight to introduce you to one of Washington’s most messed up brands, a prominent voice in Washington’s cannabis community that is almost as funny as YT (but far more popular). I tend to piss people off, can you imagine?), and generally great people – Dope Uber. You were present at the very first marijuana event your Lordship attended, albeit in a different capacity, and you have been a constant and positive presence throughout the short and chaotic history of Initiative 71. We’re lucky to have them, and now that their flagship product, the Soufeast Ratchet Cake, is available both as a delivery service and in a pop-up, it’s time for my dearest friends around the world to get to know them. That’s you, Snookums! I brought you some Eskimo kisses… Okay, too far. Yes. It’s my fault. Completely misjudged. Sufi ratchet cake. My baby. Oh, my God. I promise I’m not making this up. I explain humor to an audience unfamiliar with the city. Southeast is a historically black and poor neighborhood in D.C. Not long ago, there was a lot of crack and violence. It was similar to what happens in Baltimore now, but maybe with less heroin. A funny story: At the time, there was an alley you could drive through and buy a bag of nickels or dimes from your car, but it was considered unsafe for white kids, even those wearing camouflage jackets and T-shirts, because of the Temple Hills Bridge. I convinced my friends to go anyway because my dad needs his medicine, but we missed the exit and after we stopped the car, we were arrested on suspicion of being in the area. After the cops realized we hadn’t had time to buy anything yet, we were told a delightful anecdote about how a similar group of kids had gotten high and been robbed just like us, and everyone – EVERYONE – had been forced to perform oral sex on the supposedly armed and intimidated black dealer(s) to whom they had had the misfortune to ask for marijuana. So we went home to buy knee pads and came back. Halle! Just kidding. See? I told you this story was funny. And the rise in power is… Well, we’re not ashamed of hookers at GTHQ – quite the opposite, in fact (ladies) – and we don’t support them, so I won’t link to Urban Dictionary. It is a term for something bad, of low quality or ugly, often used in connection with a woman. Sigh. Do I have to explain all this? Remind me to tell Dope Uber how scary the tightrope they asked me to walk is. I don’t want to be tweeted at! Somehow. You buy their cute products – like the t-shirt or lunchbox below – and you get Ratchet cakes. Hint! Do you realize that this limited transfer of this unique period in history may one day be worth something to a collector? Even if our society doesn’t survive the Illuminati’s secret slime injections and chemtrails, the lunch box will certainly last long enough for Antique Robot Roadshow’s elderly expert to determine that it is, more or less, worth a million bucks. word-image-18163 You also get a Sufi advice cake! I have two. The standard SRC is a granola bar like Fruit Loops….. uh,lumps…. And weighs 100 mg, plus or minus a blork (I’m not going to get tired of that joke, people). Your lordship also received a special limited edition chocolate bar that contains about 50 mg, plus or (you can mentally insert the rest. She said it. Ha! Jinx!) The secret ingredient is love. Love and distillation. So I got tired of both and sat down to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2 on Netflix. I don’t go to the movies often because I don’t like paying $70 for a movie, popcorn and the possibility of becoming a vegetable duck for the next inappropriate jerk with a grudge and a consort, and I’m paranoid about extras anyway. But at home, without getting off the couch, I can enjoy Ratchet cakes in a calm and good mood, easily laugh at Marvel’s alien villains, and not pay special attention to anything for an hour or so after the game starts. Of course, after 150mg of cannabis, the gentleman is still a good sleeper, and this dosage is perfect for waking up well rested. A lot more, and I’m usually zombie dead the next day. I highly recommend you give the Dope Uber rat cake a try!

You May Also Like

Melissa Etheridge on Her California Cannabis Company, ‘It’s Hard, But We’re Hanging in There’

Melissa Etheridge is the latest celebrity to get in on the cannabis…

NJ Marijuana Decriminalization-How To Confirm Your Record Has Been Expunged

New Jersey has decriminalized marijuana possession, but there are still some hoops…

Labor Day weekend expected to bring in over $240 million in national retail cannabis sales

The U.S. has legalized recreational cannabis in some states and the District…