The first thing I noticed about Temescal Wellness was that the parking lot was filled with spaces. I’ve been to other grow cannabis shops and I’ve never seen such a full lot. The second thing I noticed, after parking in a spot and walking up to the shop, was that I had to go through a metal detector. This might not be that big of a deal if I wasn’t carrying a bag of cannabis that wasn’t in my possession anymore.

The chia seed contains a valuable phytochemical called alpha-linolenic acid, or ALA, which converts to a type of omega-3 fatty acid called DHA upon ingestion.  This form of omega-3 is an important nutrient for humans and many other animals, which explains why chia seed has been used for centuries for its health benefits.  DHA is an essential fatty acid, meaning that we need it to survive, but our bodies cannot produce it.  DHA is found in high levels in the brain and retina, but it also helps maintain cholesterol levels.  One recent study found that a low-carb diet high in DHA helped obese people lose weight and have reduced inflammation, which has led to

Temescal Wellness has lured Gentleman to the Baltimore suburb of Pikesville with a wide selection of concentrates for $50 per half ounce, one of the most affordable options for a health program in Maryland today. They are vertically integrated, meaning they grow their own flowers, do their own extraction and sell through their own dispensary. Most other stores, including other VIOs, charge over $60 for half a gram, so going to Temescal was a priority. VIO now stands for Vertically Integrated Operations because it sounds like Six Sigma, and Six Sigma is the coolest way to say, gosh, I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like the black-tie version of Navy SEAL companies doing hostile takeovers or cannibalizing companies for spare parts, like Richard Gere before he fell in love with Julia Roberts, pretty much fixing what was broken in him so he could build warships or whatever. Wow, that’s what emotional labor means? Am I awake? Anyway, VIO looks smart, so that’s the order of the day now. I am proudly showing my exit bag. Let’s start the investigation! Temescal is fairly easy to find along the Reisterstown Highway. A sign on the street invites me into the parking lot of a yellow and beige painted one-story building that looks outrageously simple. If you’re not specifically looking for a cannabis store, you can just drive by. The lobby was comfortable, modestly decorated and spacious, but my attention was caught by the absolutely stunning hardcover men’s books. Very fashionable, Clarence, look! The rescuers were kind and patient with my request to smell all the flower pots, and let me tell you, I was heavily impressed. Almost all the flowers had the pleasant scent I was looking for, and a good covering of trichomes to boot. Since I had so much to choose from, I took an ounce each of Uncle Purple, Animal Cookies and Blueberry Cereal from Temescal. It was not possible to see or smell the concentrate before buying it. So I chose Blueberry Cereal Shutter, since I already had a good opinion of this flower, and Wristband Juice to try. The salesman said the tire is just a rebranded tire, which sounds strange, but there are already a billion variations of the 707 tire, so what the heck. I just work here. Anyway, the flowers were fantastic and I loved them all. We’re talking Blueberry Grain because that’s the concentrate I took for comparison. Temescal Wellness provides patients with information about the strain’s pedigree – in this case, Blueberry Kush x Super Skunk. A light fruity aroma is interspersed with a dominant but discrete sweetness that makes the name Cereal particularly appropriate and intoxicating. The flower smokes softly, with a hint of sweetness. I was expecting a heavy, sleep-inducing Indica, similar to the classic Blueberry, but this hybrid is positively uplifting. Physically, I’m ready to get up and move, and my mind is calm, albeit a little restless, so the weekend was pretty productive. My ability to reason is locked in my fears of how long blueberry cereal will last, so that flower is much better suited to sports or housework than something that requires deep thought, like how the hell are we going to solve the problem of divisiveness in the country before China plants a flag on that ass, if we can’t agree on a common set of facts to discuss anything. Sorry, folks, I have nothing so far, but rest assured that our smartest mind (mine) is on the case. Hand me that bong, will you? I fear the next disappointment awaits us when we turn to Temescal concentrates. The blueberry cereal cap was good – it has a nice amber color with good clarity and excellent stability. I haven’t smelled it, but generally the smell of Shutter Tend is muted (unless it smells like butane, which Temescal did not). The sync is a bit stiff though, and on the Sap bracelet it’s even worse. This stuff is called juice because it’s poorly stable – I have to keep it in the freezer until I’m ready to swab, and I mean ready. If you turn around for a moment, it heats up and sinks, which is annoying if you haven’t kept it under the mat. Sigh. The effect of the Blueberry Cereal Shatter was similar to that of the Floral – less energetic, but not at all shaky, as well as a strong reduction in anxiety. I usually like to procrastinate while I write, but I had to change species because Blueberry Grain didn’t give me enough brain juice to work with. Lord was disappointed with Temescal concentrates – they’re decent, but not of the level I’ve seen at Rythm, AFS, or even Liberty, so my enthusiasm for their $50/half-gram price tag has been severely tempered. Their flowers, on the other hand, are incredible; they are simply among the best. I’d even say they’re worth going far (eh? eh?) I’d love to see Temescal improve the handling to match their green beauties. And if you can’t get enough of this green beauty – who can blame you, baby – sign up for my newsletter!

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